Mama Journal responses Valley Field Quebec (Soeur Tuhoe) 8/8/26-
Page 185: I love how “helpful” your comp is—she seems to have a gift for being gentle and genuine in her help which is so needed and sweet. On a sidenote—in your pictures- I love her yellow dress— stunning!!! That should be her signature color!!!
Rain and thunder #cozy—awe Abe— those cozy days with weather at home are in your future!! I’m glad you still love them, even when you still go to do the Lord’s work!
Pg 186: I’m glad you feel like you are settling in—for what it’s worth- settling in takes most people months and as a missionary you have to do it quickly to be effective and you get good at it too, but it’s just a little missionary powerup that I wanted to validate- because that alone- even if it’s just beginning to feel more comfortable is an incredible blessing in this new transfer to Valley field
Speaking of missionary mentors- I found out this week in talking to that girl Caroline Meredith ( the bridesmaid friend of Ruby’s that she and Nicole want Miles to go on a date with who has the dad who is president of BYUI) that she is a new missionary mentor- She served her mission in Sweden. More on her later 😊
Thank you for getting me Emma’s bday letter—you were the first!!
I bet going to meet with neighbor’s house really makes you think about what missionary life is like for Elder Neuhaus. (that’s his name right?) Must be a crazy experience—but awesome people! I’m grateful you don’t have to worry about Malaria
Reading about your meltdown I hope you know and remember when needed that it’s okay to have a beautiful area, wonderful ward, sweet companion and to love the work but for it still to be so hard- and bring you to tears—that just means it matters and you care—your heart is in it, your faith is in it!
Im so grateful for your RM sibs that can give you sound advice- and when they say you are doing amazingly- trust them- THEY KNOW… how it feels and how you are doing—they have collectively seen so many missionaries strive and struggle—and they know your heart and your diligence—trust their confidence in your best efforts! I know the Lord does
Pg 187- glad you are on board with Wed pdays—it feels a little long this week bc it felt like we should’ve talked Monday- but once we get in a groove I think it’s good—I like the mid week check in and getting away from Monday which feels like a busier kind of day
I am sorry you don’t have enough clicks to do anything interesting on pdays—that is kind of a bummer
Yay for a clean apartment—everything is better when it’s clean!
I am glad that giving YOURSELF the kind of grace you so easily extend to everyone else resonated with you—keep doing that! We can slip into being so hard on ourselves! (which is when satan cheers) I made his name small and lower case on purpose!)
Pg 188-8/13/26: good job for giving sweet counsel about the time spent at even great visits—for all the reasons you listed it is important.
I’m sorry you got yelled at and a door slammed—that’s pretty rude. Count it up to the offering you are laying up as you serve—those compensatory blessings are worth it and the work will go forward with the soft in heart and the prepared- I heard someone say on Sunday- anyone trying to stop the work of the Lord is the same as someone putting their hand in the river and expecting it to stop flowing— not happening. Sometimes God just wants to know you’ll try, you’ll testify, you’ll invite- and when you prove that you will, heed a prompting, do the hard things, respond with grace and not give up, then He knows He can send you to someone he needs you to find who is ready.
Speaking of Sunday- Vincent Minert came to our ward and gave a farewell talk—he did so great—I tried ot record it for you but the sound didn’t work. He looks the same (minus his signature white quarter zip up) He gave a great talk and he’ll be a great missionary- He said he really hoped he’d speak French on his mission—He’s going to the Southern part of France (Leon I think) Isn’t that where that girl in your mtc group was going? I went up to him after, extended my hand and he hugged me instead – which was cute (kind of that scenario where a person feels more connected ot you than you to them- but still so warm) He said he’d emailed you a little but not much- I told him to try again and he said he would, but in French only. So if you hear from him, be warm back— you never know – out doors smells can be trained to be squelched, and he has always been/is a sharp kid. He’s going to do great things as a missionary. Anwyay, if he emails you let him know I was super impressed and excited that he’s ready to serve. France will be blessed. It’s just fun to see missionaries (like you too) who are ready and prepared to go- it’s exciting for the work!
It probably makes your comp feel so good to know and be told that she is needed—that’s a gift you are giving her that she can so early in her mission feel integral and not a tag a long--- that’s not always the case, esp in training- so that’s pretty special and neat that you value her like that and keep giving her wings to feel needed in it- and not just for her French- but for her testimony and light! Also in this way it’s apparent to me that she really does NEED you—and you are teaching her and loving her into the missionary she can be day by day—this time of 2nd training is important and intentional!
Pg 189: I love your testimony of the Book of Mormon- you spend hours in your room during high school developing patterns that made it familiar to you- helped you understand it by the spirit—that’s a powerful witness you wrote about of the strength you’ve had as you’ve read and studied it in French and a POERFUL example of why it matters to prepare like that. I hope you’ll take every opportunity to share and encourage your younger siblings (and older siblings) to fall in love with the Book of Mormon now! This week Lainey and I printed her a BOFM reading chart so she could be more consistent and I saw her studying the talk. Your example is so important for her. On a side note- don’t want to go in to too much detail ( I can on pday if it’s just you and me) but she lost her phone at least until we get back from our Trip to Coeur d Alain (sp?)….. She was sneaking it into her room, found out my screentime passcode and was overriding it (I got notifications so I knew) and this was going on mostly when I was in CA- so I’d text dad and he’d deal with it- but it was an honesty issue and she’s struggled in that way before—all in all it gave us a lot of good things to teach her- and she’s REALLY struggling with the consequence- but it being painful will help her learn. – parents don’t’ like the consequence part- I remember thinking they did when I was a teenager—like they sit and revel in the discomfort you feel as you have to deal with consequences that feel like “their” consequences not “your” consequences..but it isn’t that way- you want to not give them and move on-but you know you have to to be consistent and to give them an opportunity to reset and be intentional in future choices. I remember telling her and she didn’t believe me (but maybe now she does) that not having a phone is better than having a phone and losing the privilege-- anyway- through the mess of it Dad and I both said how grateful we are for your influence and example and love. It will be a HUGE blessing to have you close (even if you are at school) but in so much contact with her during her high school years after your mission. Navigating some of the fashion stuff has been a little harder with Emma- she’s respectful of what we say, but sometimes I’m not sure she’s totally on the same page and it’s not as hidden as she thinks- but she tries to be supportive—we need you big sisters to help us!! Anyway- she will listen to your messages today and respond back to you on my phone with our messages—until her phone is back—She’ll explain it to you I’m sure-but that’s why it will come to you “via” my messages with just you.
That’s a cute idea about poetry for neanderthals to teach how simply beautiful and beautifully simple. What a great idea!
I love the miracles in this entry – that they are happening and that you see them “since I voiced it out loud, you understand more and more” What a sweet example of “if it matters to you, it matters to me”
Those weekly trips to McDonalds with Madelaine (that would be a cute middle name for one of your girls or some other French name) is prob the high light of her week, and weekly date out of the rest home
Pg 190: It’s neat to see hwo the Lord helps each of us individual have faith promoting experiences that are so individually tailored to the growth we need—like you with the language and your comp with finding! Noah shared (
I’ll ask him to share tomorrow bc it’d be better coming from him, but in case he can’t or I forget- it was neat because He said he got some advice from his mission President‘s wife, once where she was praying for one of her own missionary who was struggling and just frustrated that he was having the kind of experience he was having or maybe at her lack of being able to really help him and the really strong impression that she got at the time was “well are you equipped and prepared to teach him what he needs to learn yourself or do you want me to help him learn these things?” and she said it was super humbling for her because she recognized that the Lord knew how he was tutoring. He knew her son & what he needed - the Lord knew his heart and exactly what would help him grow and become opportunities for weak things to become strong,…and so she stopped Praying to fix it and start praying to help encourage him to navigate the things that the Lord was very intentionally trying to grow him through.” anyway I just really loved that counsel
8/16: i’m so happy that you love the Branch and that you had three friends that’s exciting Maybe your friend THERESE needed a Soeur miller to help encourage her to prioritize what she’s learning to be unpaused
What a blessing for being brave and going to talk to Janice when you weren’t sure if she was a member of our friend - I’m sure it meant everything to her that you found her and she felt known and seen- I think about that every Sunday when I sit down and I’m comfortable in my spot and then I see someone new or someone behind me and I resist turning around and saying hello but it’s such a easy and quick thing to do and if everybody does it - it’s such a better warmer experience for whoever is there- something to keep implementing post mission and for everyone –
I love that. She said she knew you because of your testimony- what a powerful first impression. Wow, lots of cool miracles at church finding the two women on the street. It’s so neat that some members came up to you. It would’ve been cool if they’ve gone up to them too, but it’s neat that you were there and ready.
What a blessing to those sisters to have a congregation to meet with close to them. Maybe another gift you have for your companion is helping her understand what a full days effort is and how you try to balance need for sleep and need for work and how the Lord can compensate. I think some people need more sleep than others actually but I also think some of those things are patterns or coping strategies.
I could not eat crab anything or I would be in big trouble wirh allergies but you “ Sussed out!!? Haha” It’s good that you are able to try these things and it’s so cute how the DuPonts have all their different cuisines for you.
Pg 192: it is a sweet thing to see how quickly members love you and I’m pretty sure it’s because they can sense the selflessness and what you are doing and the pure life of Christ that just radiates out of you as all of your focus is on living and loving like He does
Thank you for being patient with me and getting back to you on journal responses. It’s such a tender look for me into your mission and your heart and I am overwhelmed with gratitude to know these things about you and your experience.
I had a really good experience in California. It was difficult in the it was ridiculously hot. I stayed at GG’s house and they had a water pipe issue so I had no water and they don’t run the air-conditioning so I had a fan in my room( I was staying at the house on my own since it’s in demo mode and they were at the hotel) and it kept registering the temperature at 80° made me miss my cushy life in Meridian- wonderful to be with them though wonderful to see Adam in such a good spot- really glad I could be there for Nicole. I feel like my biggest job was just kind of helping my parents, which I think relieved her if some of the stress of that I wasn’t as much help with the wedding prep or pictures I did do candids, but wasn’t quite available to her as I would’ve liked to be, but she had 1 million friends and also Dave’s family swarming around so it didn’t feel like the gaps that weren’t being filled. I can tell you more about it tomorrow
So the deal with the Caroline girl, I got to meet her and be around her engage with her kind of naturally with all the other bridesmaids, but I really liked her. She was the kind of girl like when an older person would walk by her she would engage and talk with them. You know they say you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people that aren’t important. She’s just would engage with them and make eye contact and was just generally really sweet She’s not like crazy beautiful or dark haired, but she’s really very cute and trendy and I could totally see why Nicole and Ruby would both think she was a good match for Miles- she def had a light about her—and I don’t say that to compensate for her not being cute too- I just think that light is the MOST attractive thing- that should draw you to a person-- anyway I can tell you more about it on the phone if it’s just you and me only tomorrow and when I talked to Miles about it later, I even sent him pictures. He wasn’t super hyped. I don’t know if I’ll be able to talk to you about it actually because he’ll be here with me, but I will see how that goes. I don’t imagine he’ll be on the phone all day even if he is here and other news. I also got to see that girl Kate that he dated and ghosted him - I think he’s seen her since and they’ve said hello or whatever -because she’s a good friend of Ruby and was at the reception and I was totally not impressed by her( like some weird alternative dancing to some of the songs-- ) not that she wasn’t a good girl but just kind of weird almost had a masculine look to her (and hair like Unice Burns with a bob and flipped up ends) didn’t think she was cute at all and I told Miles is Caroline girl as far and away a much better catch all the way around—not sure if he’s on that page- but you know how he is slow to get excited sometimes—we’ll see- I don’t think he’s going to reach out to Ruby about it- but he said he’d maybe be open to it-- . I wish he would pursue it a little more.he’s interested in
Miles got home late Sunday night and I was so glad to see him and it seemed like a long time. Grham is super happy he’s home- everyone is. Tonight they are gong to see the new spiderman movie again (It’s $5 day) and Emma Noah and Miles haven’t seen it.
Miles has worked had at our GRIND DON’T STOP challenge He’s really trimmed down quite a bit (22lbs) and has developed some really good habits and I’m happy for him to be starting full semester probably feeling like he’s at his best. I am going to cut his hair tonight sides and back bc it’s getting a little fuzzy from buzz grow up- but I hope he styles it and keeps rest short.
I’m a little worried about him and Cache, but hopefully he can lead out- I also don’t want to get too comfortable with having a built-in buddy and not reach out socially- I think it’ll be a hard semester for him with his course load, but an important one and then the one after that he’ll be prepping for the dot so these are big semesters
The kids seem to be adjusting to school. I don’t know that they’ve told their teachers they’re gonna be out next week and that won’t be easy for them, but they’ll figure it out. It’ll be nice to get away but as always when we’re missing one it doesn’t feel the same. We drive up Wednesday pretty much all day. Hopefully we’ll have really good reception and just can talk to you in the car which will make that drive. Super nice I think it’s 6 to 8 hours and Thursday. We have our biking on the Hiawatha Trail and Friday we have a boat day and then Saturday is just kind of a relax and check out the town or do whatever day and then we’ll drive back Sunday.
One last thing I wanted to tell you on Sunday, our sacrament meeting went a little short, so President Albert stood up and shared some thoughts and one of the things he shared I thought was cool. He said there was a missionary who had gotten about halfway in his mission and met his mission president and his mission president said to him you are a good missionary, but you have in you what it takes to be a great missionary, and he didn’t totally understand that and so as he pondered that all the rest of his mission, he thought what is it? What is it? That makes a great missionary and what he learned about the answer to that question of what is the difference between a good missionary and a great missionary? He said it’s not how well they speak the language or the number of baptisms or if they’re in leadership in their mission. It’s how well they’re able to look out and serve others so those kind of missionaries are the one that catch the vision that are effective that are impactful and that go on post mission to bless the lives of many and I thought that was a cool perspective.
I love you so very much and I couldn’t be more proud of my sweet missionary- keep claiming your miracles
So before I end—something to study if you’d like to: I really liked this BYU DEVO talk—I remember him giving it when I was at BYU- I was 45 days away from graduation and marrying dad….. I like the concept of the focus on the “seeks” and this quote:” that “where one succeeds because of his smartness, ten succeed because of their faithfulness” and this part too: “Whatever you have is enough, providing you buckle down and use to full advantage that which God has given you. When the wind of adversity strikes your ship, tighten your sails and attend your course”
https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/carlos-e-asay/it-might-have-been/
“It Might Have Been” Carlos E. Asay of the Presidency of the Seventy 11- 14-1995
_____________________
Pg 194: the “sister
Miller Stamp of approval” is a big deal! (re your compliment to the
Aps 😊)
Your “gift” from Elder
RICHMAOND?? The anticipation!
I’m glad sis Tuhoe
didn’t spiral after seeing Sister Robinson and it’s sweet that you showed so
much charity in letting her have that connection with other Tahitian
sisters—that is pretty neat that her experience is getting better noticeably
from zc to zc, like she’s figuring it out—and neat that she recognized your
patience and kindness. You are such a good example
Abe. Obedient and aware and so kind to put her
agenda forward.
It hink it’s cool that
you can recognize that you can improve in listening—even though I am sure your
mind is spinning trying to take all the French in, and as that comes more
easily, you’ll be able ot be a more intentional listener because you won’t feel
the need to think out the words or be stressed about what’s next—and that’s
coming- little by little
Pg 195: I totally agree
that your best will look different every day and it’s supposed to—provided on
what opportunities you have or how things roll out and being able to just offer
your best is all the Lord needs—even when you might not have an as “effective”
feeling day, if you give it your all- He does the rest
8/21/26: That’s exciting
that Therese is progressing and so sweet about ReJean! ON DATE!!
Wahoo!! Your influence matters—I love that your weekly calls for
your mission include baptisms with all the names of the missionaries that
taught that person- a validation that many hands and many prayers (each an
angel along the way) help shepherd a “friend” to baptism. With all
the moving around missionaries do it’s hard to probably initially find and
follow one all the way- but your influence at whatever stage you are blessed
with them matters. Still I get what you are saying and maybe the
Lord will bless you with that- but either way- every touchpoint along the path
is divinely orchestrated.
That’s got to be heard
to pause someone (like Gisella)- and it might seem harsh to Sis Tuhoe to do
that- so maybe counseling with your DL or ZL or STLs about that might help her
trust what you are suggesting—and Rejean is a good example—took some time away
while he was gone- or like Gisella needs to figure it out- but they aren’ t in
a blackhole, they are still on the missionary radar….and still in missionary
prayers—and it’s a sweet opportunity to trust the Lord that He sees them and
you can pause there and do the work He needs you to do without worrying that
you are leaving one behind
Maybe Janice’s friend
being in the hospital will soften her heart to help her see her need for more
faith, more of the Savior in her life. I am sure your prayers mean
so much to her
Excited to hear about
all these friends on pday-
Speaking of Pday- I was
thinking oh this will be great we can just talk to you in the car- and we will
try- but as I was talking to dad about it- he was saying we will probably lose
reception for a good chunk of the middle of your pday. The
morning will be a little crazy trying to get out the door (we are getting up at
seven and trying to be in the car at 8- and that might be a hard time to talk
and get everyone and everything going and so I think it would work best for you
if I message after we drop the dogs off. We are supposed to drop
them off at 8am at Miss Diane’s- then we can talk as long as we have reception-
which will be till we get past Weiser (so maybe an hour) and then it might
(maybe not?) get spotty. It will probably be like that till (dad thought) about
1 our time- but after that should be better- so we could talk those last hours
of your pday. I am not sure if there’s anything you can do to fill
that mid day- I know you said there’s not a lot- but I wanted to give you a
heads up in case there was- I am sorry it won’t be like the regular pday- we
will be missing our Abe no matter what we do on this little getaway and I
promise to take lots of pictures.
Jack and Janice are
heading over soon and Miller (bc Sadie and Seth have a stake meeting) so I’d
better get dinner organized. It’s been so nice ot have Miles
home—and I think the break has been good for him. He spent all
Friday at Dad’s office observing a total mouth makeover (extractions of all
teeth, implants in, fixed dentures) pretty amazing transformation. We
also went over to dad’s office this weekend and saw the progress they are
making on the building addition and it’s coming along—they’ve got boards laid
out to define the spaces and it’s making more sense. In the meantime
the staff bathroom attached to the breakroom has been demoed because it will
become an extension to the waiting room and a walkway to the rest of the newer
part of the building. That’s going to be a pian for the staff to be
down a bathroom till this finishes up. They are saying might be done
late January, I think. So that’s pretty quick
Emma and Noah had a
great 16 week apt and her next apt at end of Sept is the anatomy
one. We’re all pretty sure it’s a girl. They also
finalized Christmas travel plans with the Sowards and will be going to Florida
Dec 19-26-we will miss them but it’s fair, I guess.
We talked a lot about
you at CFM tonight- you are such a strength to each of us. Dad talked about
you- Lainey talked about you- I talked about you.
I’ll end with a couple
quotes—this one I’m sure your familiar with from PMG:
"Diligence is steady, consistent, earnest, and energetic
effort in doing the Lord's work. Diligence in missionary work is an expression
of your love for the Lord and His work
And from the missionary
prep manual: “Diligence is steady, consistent, earnest, and energetic
effort in doing the Lord’s work. The Lord expects you to work
diligently—persistently and with great effort and care. A diligent missionary
works effectively and efficiently. Diligence in missionary work is an
expression of your love for the Lord and His work. When you are diligent, you
find joy and satisfaction in your work.
“Do many good things of your own free will (see D&C 58:27). Don’t wait for your leaders to tell you what to do. Continue until you have done all you can, even when you are tired. Focus on the most important things and avoid wasting time. Pray for guidance and strength. Plan regularly and effectively. Avoid anything that distracts your thoughts or actions” (Preach My Gospel, 121). “Diligence in missionary work is an expression of your love for the Lord.” President Thomas S. Monson, a counselor in the First Presidency, explained why missionaries need to work diligently: “Missionary work is difficult. It will tax your energies. It will strain your capacity. It will demand your best effort—frequently, a second effort. Remember, the race goeth ‘not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong’ (Eccl. 9:11)—but to him who endures to the end. Determine to
“Stick
to your task till it sticks to you.
Beginners
are many, but enders are few.
Honor,
power, place and praise
Will
always come to the one who stays.
Stick
to your task till it sticks to you;
Bend
at it, sweat at it, smile at it, too—
For
out of the bend and the sweat and the smile
Will
come life’s victories after awhile [author unknown]”
(in
Conference Report, Mar.–Apr. 1979, 53; or Ensign, May
1979, 36–37).
Missionaries are commanded to serve God with all their “heart, might, mind and strength” (D&C 4:2). Missionaries who serve God with all their “heart, might, mind and strength” (D&C 4:2) are able to give consistent, sincere, and energetic physical, mental, and spiritual effort to accomplish their purpose of inviting “others to come unto Christ by helping them receive the restored gospel through faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, repentance, baptism, receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end” (Preach My Gospel, 1). The diligent missionary will not waste time but considers every day an opportunity to serve the Lord.Missionary work can be repetitive and difficult. Some days seem to bring little success, while other, more productive days make up for the difficult ones. The number of baptisms does not determine a missionary’s success. Working and serving effectively with the Spirit is essential for happiness in missionary service."
Lastly Ave- please know this. YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS- prepared before you came here, promised you would, and known by the Lord. He knows your strengths and weaknesses- He gave you both and has wonderous plans for you- as a missionary and in every other way! Love you dearly- xoxo mama (hopefully you know this, but I had no time to spellcheck!) Happy Monday- It's the Lord's Monday!
_________________________
8-24-26I won’t make
this one long- but wanted to be caught up before we left town.
Pg 197:
8/22/26 I am sorry for the long day. I
am a little concerned about the headaches and nausea. One thing I would ask you if I was there is
how is your water intake? Because becoming dehydrated can easily lead to frequent
headaches—just try getting in more water for a few days and see if that helps a
little. You could be coming down with something
but it could just be dehydrated and fatigue-
both would be justified. Also- when
you get the headaches- take Tylenol (2) it’s not hard on your stomach and it
will help. Obviously, you don’t want to
take it every day without an end in sight- but if you need it for a few days,
it’s fine- esp if you’re just taking it when the headaches starts to tamp it
down.
That’s so
many great updates on your friends and I love that ReJean can connect so well
with so many- I liked his baptism program.
Neat to hear about the baptism in Hochelaga—did you get a picture of it?
Should I add it ot “your baptisms?” or maybe not? IDK
“turn it
around Abe” that takes me back- you were good at doing that- the melting—Sadie was
too back in the day- Emma not so much hahahaha.
It’s okay if you don’t handle everything perfectly and if it seems like your
comp is speaking fast or mumbling intentionally when irritated it probably is the
case- and maybe where you can disengage you can- but I know you need to fix
things quick so the spirit stays. I think you find was to be a peacemaker most
of the time…and that’s a character trait and pattern that will always bless
you.
That’s super
neat that you are aware of ways the language is coming—it really is remarkable-
esp so obvious from the outside- like in the view of your friend who thinks its’
crazy you have come so far with it in so short a time—and for us- it’s pretty
crazy to witness- like literally seeing a miracle before our eyes. It’s because God doesn’t have time to waste
esp with a missionary like you- so the language needs to come- and it still
will- but I’m glad your noticing it, writing about it, and saying your thank
you prayers- because that will bring down an abundance of blessings!
Glad church
was so good and that the ward/branch is so kind and aware—what a blessing.
Dad did a Combined lesson for RS and elders quorum on Sunday with a kickoff of his member project, which is pretty neat focus on family history for our ward and building the temple out of the little boxes. Once family names are completed anyway if he hasn’t told you about it, you should ask him because he’s pretty hyped and you know how he fixate on something and goes all in so that’s been good but Sunday went well. Dad kind of ran the adult lesson and then the youth met altogether and Graham and one of Dad‘s counselors are supposed to run that Graham kind of conducting in the counselor leading out but Saturday night the counselor called and said he couldn’t be there so basically Graham ran the youth meeting with the minions of support, but it was pretty impressive. I just thought wow not a lot of youth could do that would do it and could do it well and it just made me excited for Graham to have opportunities to lead, and when he serves a mission, such a capable kid, he needs to have the humility piece added in there, but he was still willing to do something that a lot of people, especially youth would not have like I would not have wanted to do that as a youth I probably would’ve but not very easily like he did just a parent that he has these special gifts you all do…. Which is why the Lord keeps calling on you to sustain others to lead out to be a light in an example wherever you go.
Jack
and Janice came over last night and it was good to have them —still full of all
the awkward parts and then being a little snippy parts and just let us
wondering when they would get the hint that it was time to go- we played some
Jackbox games, which was interesting because Janice seemed to be stuck on the
word poop- which was funny at first but got old and she probably didn’t realize
that- they came over at 6:30 and after we had had come follow me and played
games and had dessert and just chatted. We were walking them out basically
ended up pretty much taking Jack’s shoes out to his car to what she said oh do
I need to go already? Like zero awareness of social cues there but it’s kind of
sad because you just recognize how much they want to have that family time and
Jack hugged me and said I just miss knowing that I could come every month I
just planned on that and loved it, which made me feel guilty because with my
calling it’s been harder for me to commit to that with them, and we’ve done it
every couple months recently but I realized in that moment for all of the
awkwardness and them not even catching onto when it was time to go that’s just
something that we need to do so I set it up for next month. I will try to be
more consistent.
President Albert called me yesterday and I was given a speaking assignment for stake conference to speak at the all adult leadership session that Sunday morning one my topic is spiritual patterns so if you have any awesome insights, I’m happy to hear them!! Dad was like a cute librarian -right away came out of his office with several church books that I could read :led by divine designed by Elder Rasband and then one by Elder Bednar called the spirit of revelation, so I guess that will be my “fun” reading on our trip this weekend. #dadmode #chyrchyopportunities I need to plan a 10 minute talk— ugh but okay - I knew it was coming #initiateprayermode There’s an area authority that’s coming to our meeting. His name is Elder Hillam - I found out also that weekend that the Stake presidency wives are catering at dinner for the Stake Sister Leaders to be served by the Stake presidency which feels super awkward and unnecessary to me with the general authority and his wife- stk conf is on the second weekend in September- I’ll be a happy camper when that’s over
Been
working on our weekend plan- Thursday is Hiawatha bikes, Friday the boat day
and Saturday I tried to plan a mix of sightseeing, antique and thrift shops
trying to keep everyone happy hoping no one goes into mutiny mode 
it’d be super
awesome if everyone would just stick with the plan that I created- I did work
really hard trying to be aware of everyone’s interest and time frames- but
we’ll see We’ll do a family picture on Saturday morning and my heart is sad
that you aren’t in it so I want you to be thinking about a picture you can take
for a Christmas card that can be an inset on our Christmas card because our
family definitely needs our missionary in it- and I have already planned next
summer‘s family picture when you come back it’s going to be
more formal with the guys wearing slacks and white shirts no ties and the girls
wearing dresses-
FYI, I don’t know if Sadie had told you that
Drew Bingham and his wife were pregnant that was pretty fast and exciting. They
have Colt the same age as Miller but apparently yesterday she lost the baby (
she was eight weeks ) so that was pretty sad having a miscarriage but Sadie and
seth have been so good to them - just being close and spending extra time there
-such a blessing to have good friends that like family and I’m glad they have
each other in that ward…. It’s a funny little full circle kind of thing how
that worked out- was Sadie and drew particularly how much drew and seth enjoy
each other and Sadie and sKylie
Been
a little worried about Lainey- she talks to Emma more than she talks to me—which
is okay- but I miss her confiding in me—it’s like she acts little around me and
like a teenager around Emma. Also worried
bc Holland is moving, I think has already had her last day and so Lainey is
left with a group of girls trying to grow up way too fast and not one that I’d
prob pick for her- but she doesn’t know where else to do w/ other friend group
options and I don’t even know how to suggest that—maybe you can talk that through
with her. She did confide in Emma that
she has a crush on the pickett boy- which I think he’s prob a lot shorter than
her and they do have Spanish tighter so she loves that day of her schedule—she’s
told me none of this- so keep under wraps and that makes me a little sad- but also I don’t know what to do. She’s
bearing her no phone consequence well, but I am still a little worried because
she struggles with being sneaky and I need to be more on top of things with
her- just watching more closely- I wish she could look most to your older kids
and not have an underlying need to be what every one else is—like she tucks up
her white undershirt if she’s wearing one- why- if she says her stomach doesn’t
show- I’ve tried to make this point—also I’ve let her wear the sleeveless
shirts (wide tanks) and it just feels like I don’t know what she’s thinking- I
know she’s a million times more modest than her peers, but I want HER to Want
to be modest- not because I’m asking it of her.
I think there’s just some finding your way and figuring it out but her friend
group without Holland is a red flag. She
told Emma they are all going to homecoming so now Lainey is upper aware of
that- and I’m like- what? It just feels
like there’s a lot of peer influence and where she doesn’t have a “good” friend
without Holland, she’s navigating it in solo or covert mode. I am prayerful about it- mostly I don’t want
her to do or be things because we’ve told her to- I want her to want it for
herself—and I think a lot of that starts with her doing the things that will keep
her close to the spirit- and help her navigate the “world” that she is socially
planted in. Ugh. I just tell you all
this to give you context when you talk to her—she looks up to you so much!
I love you, Avery. I want you to know that when I pray for you, I say this part from the scripture “angels round about you to bear you up" xoxox Mama
____________________________
8/27/26 pg 203: I love that you got to have the kind of mix up that you needed and be able to enjoy your exchanges—and I love that you got to do in person lessons- seems like it’d be so much easier to feel the spirit and gauge the friend in person. I am sure you get really good with the phone/video but I’m glad exchanges brough the chance to do it person to person! And yay for being brave with your French- I am sure you do so much better than you give yourself credit for
I’d love to know what her insights were for you with your comp and I love that you can feel supportive and counsel together and have it be specific enough to be helpful but still feel kind and good and helpful- that’s just what an STL is supposed to do- I think some STL’s are better at doing that more productively than others. If you are called to be an STL it will be such great leadership training for callings in the church—I’ve thought of that often how to lead within a presidency- or how it sometimes goes when you participate in ward councils or with different leadership- how to actually address issues within your stewardship in ways that aren’t in the weeds, or belittling, but also really target the issues, concerns. Just this week I had an experience with Sis Skovensky (who really is the world’s best secretary!) but she kept sending things from Instagram to our chat from various sources as suggested things to pass along to our counterparts in the ward presidencies. I felt prob overly aware at how to redirect this as to not make her feel sheepish, but knowing I needed to help her understand the sources that we can and shouldn’t send out under the umbrella of our callings—that some of these things, while wonderful, we don’t share from our calling to our sisters, as forwarded links from social media, but rather make good ideas for training and talks- etc. I tried to be gentle and validate the message and suggest how we could keep it for these different uses, but still help her understand what we can share. (church sources) She took it super well but I was nervous about it- and took it to prayer—just things like that—knowing how to lead and guide in meekness and in the Savior’s way- (reminds me of Mary and Martha with the Savior- how He validated the effort but tried to emphasize the more important part… tried to follow that pattern)
8/28: That does seems like a lot to “counsel” about- and maybe such an ordeal bc of president’s no gathering philosophy- it’s prob tricky to not have hard and fast rules that apply to everyone- even though some missionaries (you) could be totally fine to gather- some aren’t so it’s probably just easier to . I’m glad it all worked out the way you hoped and maybe you saved some “clicks” with driving that way and can plan a pday outing now in future with the spare “clicks” (Is that what you call them?)
Pg 204: It seems like your comp struggles with change a little bit—like hard when you came on the scene, hard the day after exchanges—good thing a mission is going to fine tune that for her. I bet it is tricky to try to lead by example and in suggestion and not have it received with agreement and forward action. Some of what she’s “fighting against” maybe her tendencies that had she not had two great trainers, she would be a different missionary going forward—so I think every good thing you suggest and the example that you set matter- if it doesn’t feel like it so much in the moment, it is a pattern that she’ll reflect on esp when she has a comp that doesn’t work at that level, or get it the same way. When you are describing the “unteachable moments” or how service or grace extended isn’t noticed, it reminds me of child—a lot of parenting feels like that- no validation for what you do or what you try to lead them in- and not a lot of acknowledgement of when any of that has made a big difference, but you keep after it- being gentle, being constant, striving for more, showing love, (high expectations/high love mindset) and it sinks in and matters
That’s really interesting about her education background and esp coming from a big family- but maybe education wasn’t the emphasis. I can see the appeal of being a flight attendant, but not if she a boyfriend at home and a marriage plan—that seems more fun as a single person- not having to leave your spouse- but whatever? I can see how the intellectual side, the reading, understanding etc would really be impacted with less schooling (and there’s prob a cultural factor too) and it probably is why she is not learing a language on top of everything else. It’s kind of cool how the Lord loves us each so much and caters our experiences and His expectations and support to what we each can offer and need (and that definitely includes having YOU as her trainer ♥) As far as life experience—that matters too- and while you haven’t had a lot of life experience either, you’ve had a close look at your siblings and extended family in their life experience and we’ve tried to talk about it and give you bigger perspectives—sometimes that prob seems like bashing (and sometimes it is 😊- but not always) or judging but a lot of what seems critical, is trying to help you learn from their life choices/experiences/personalities/priorities to help shape you. That’s intentional. And if you don’t have that within a family- then you really are left to your “own” life experiences and you can see how there’s a bigger learning curve/ I think that happens a lot in newlyweds= who get married and expect it to be dreamy all the time and didn’t really have good coping or critical thinking, compromising skills-
Yay for meeting new friends like Gloria- I love how you are open and wiling to talk to anyone anywhere! That is inspiring!
Pg 205: I’m glad for the note and sweet that she wrote it—not everyone redirects quickly but sweet that it did come and when you frame that with her age etc, it makes it easier to offer more grace. ♥ “A kind word turneth away wrath…..” But also don’t beat yourself up for having a “vent” in your journal- you are allowed that and it’s probably a healthy way to let it out!
I loved the pics of your member BBQ- and it’s so cool to me how as a missionary you love those functions where you know how you’ve felt about them in the past- everyone does. It’s so amazing how your ward is so encouraging and inclusive to missionaries and friends and each other—seems like a “zion” ward. It must be so fun for your ward to have sister missionaries like you that work so hard and invite and invite. I love that you didn’t give up on Janice and gave her the extra push to come—that would make Sunday so much sweeter, all those connections through fellowship- I also think it’s okay that it can feel overwhelming- I feel that as a normal member at those things- making sure I reached out how and where I should—even more pressure as a missionary I’m sure.
(It’s Shucked the corn) mmmm…corn—I was waiting for you to say that in your videos with the corn and the butter—haha- My mom used to set out butter like that when we had corn growing up
Ooff! The Courdalene posts on messenger—how could you not feel those things—we were missing you too the whole time! It was weird taking our fam picture—we all said how we needed you to balance Sadie’s height in a picture of tall people. (I was wearing wedges or I wouldn’t have been included in the tall group) Anyway- it is part of your sacrifice- and I promise- we’ll be right here ready to gather when you get back! You’ll have to let me know which pic of you I should use for the back of Christmas card bc you’d better believe you’ll be represented!
8/30: So tender to hear about ReJean’s baptism and his testimony. I hope when you hear him say what your contact and support means that you do claim him as one of “your” baptisms. It sometimes takes a village—a great ward, and missionaries to find and to teach and to maintain contact and follow the spirit and the reward is the sweetest! I can’t even tell you how much I love that picture of you smiling at him in the font—that is the best missionary picture ever- captures so much- his joy, your joy, God’s love. It’s perfect! You should really thank your comp for capturing that.,..it’s so neat.
I love all your thankyou prayers! Gratitude is a gateway to more blessings!
It’s interesting that your comp’s reluctance to do what you felt prompted to do (put Janice on date) wasn’t actually reflective of her not thinking that was a good idea as much as her not feeling ready herself== and that made me wonder if when she doesn’t seem open to your suggestions it isn’t so much that she doesn’t want to listen to you, or learn from you, but it’s how she on some inside layer is processing her own hesitancies. Keep leading with love—she needs that from you! And I have zero doubt that you will leave her and your area and that sweet ward and every friend you bless BETTER than you found them. That’s because of who you are and your gifts from Heavenly Father, but also because of your willingness to be humble and focused, in working so hard, and loving so big—the Lord is bound when a missionary has a heart like that- it’s a heart like His. Truly.
Well love- sorry I didn’t get caught up till now but oh I loved reading your journal entry and seeing what has been going on in the work and in your heart this last week.
Miles just took lunch to the kids at school and in an hour (after a little nap) he’ll head back to school. Not ready for him to go and not he’s not ready to tackle it again, but he will. This is a big semester for him- hard load of classes and then next semester a little lighter so he can do his DAT prep to apply to dental school./ Last night we updated his mutual/hinge profile with new pics (mostly from CDA- I just messaged them to you). He also better answered his profile questions (went from thoughts on dating: trying to figure it out to long term relationship, things like that to be more reflective of his stage and intent rather than to safeguard his pride by seeming disinterested.) I hope he’ll seek out this Caroline Meredith girl that I met at Ruby’s reception—you’d love her—so cute and sharp- the kind of girl that would be so easy in our family- fun and solid- or even the friend Emma has from King Henry- plus whoever is new in his classes/ward- hopefully he’ll prioritize the social from the get go when he gets back. Still a little worried about Cache as a roommate and esp when Miles admits that his type of girl (Cache’s) is basically a 20 year old version of Bel, (who I love dealy- but not the goal for Miles) So we’ll see- keep him in your prayers this week. We will get ot see him on Friday when we go down to Utah for Gpa and Gmas’ video deal and reunion weekend- Miles will meet us at our Air bnb and stay with us for the weekend.
We are just gathering for the Saturday portion, mostly bc they didn’t really put a complete itinerary together and we’d already gotten an Airbnb for two nights—I think they are gathering for a pool party at Nates Friday (which we’ll catch the end of maybe- we should get into Utah about 9pm) and then Saturday they didn’t plan anything of the morning which I thought was weird—like would’ve been a good time for gathering for breakfast at a park or church or whatever- but they just said on your own till afternoon- so we made an apt at the Lindon Temple for baptisms and then will go to breakfast… then meet up with the group for the limo drop off on the red carpet (kind of odd I think- like overdone) to greet the guests of honor—at the Varsity theater (where we’ll have 4 hours of video footage (might be a little much) and then after that the word is that you can eat at the cougar eat and maybe go bowling- or tour campus and leave whenever- which I was all for- games and party with our fam unit at the Airbnb- (I think everyone else is packing into Tee’s or Nate’s in laws house bc that’s where they are living while they totally renovate their home-long story) It’s weird to me that so many who can afford to just get a place to stay close for the weekend do that—it seems stressful. But I’m just glad dad will separate a little- bc that group overwhelms me. I know I don’t have to explain that to you. 😊 (or maybe Nate could just get a giant lodge or huge Airbnb that would accommodate everyone if you want to do it that way, or have people pitch in? IDK. So there’s like no plan Sat night except to hangout around BYU? I am hoping that things just kind of disperse after the video thing but dad wants to join in whatever is going on and I get it. (and will fake smile my way through it) They decided at the last minute to do temple square tours and listen to the spoken word) but we didn’t know that and have to check out of our place Sunday morning . So we’ll go to church in Orem at a nine o clock ward and then go to Jennie and Scotts for lunch. (Ruby and Koston are coming too) Then we’ll head out about 1pm for home—which is kind of nice to have a Monday at home (Labor Day) to prep for the week. I think Millers are gathering Sunday night for more video footage (people that weren’t at initial video thing) and then doing another pool party on Monday and then people are heading out. I feel like we are being supportive and it’s okay that we’re not doing everything- that prob irks Tee and maybe some others but I’m good. (and with so many dudes I don’t think we’ll be missed) Hahaha (as long as dad is good with it) Everyone should be there except Brody’s family (they just moved to Washington area – I think like Tacoma). Which is awesome for them I think- mix it up out of Middleton and be together as a family where Brody’s job is for now- I don’t think it’s a forever move for them.
Lainey got her phone back- and I hope she learned something from the consequence- I think she did. She listened to your messages and will respond from her phone prob later today. She wants me to print the Forget me Not talk- thank you for keeping this going. She’s been doing great (till we left for our trip) on reading a chapter in the BOFM and has a cute color chart going you can ask her about. Holland is still around- not sure the deal there- and she still admits that friend group isn’t the best when she’s gone so IDK. When Miles took them to lunch today they ate at some pavilion by the seminary bld and he said there seemed like a lot of good kids hanging around over there—I wish Lainey could be open to that…maybe you can encourage her-bc it’s hard to find new friend options just staying in the same group with the same people. I don’t like it but they walk around during lunch- to Dutch bros to sonic—and I haven’t fought that with her bc I figure walking and talking si better than sitting in that group- but I just want her to find more friends. She did finally tell me about Cash Pickett in Spanish and that he’s cute- but she also clarified that he’s short. (like a lot shorter than her) So that might be enough buffer to keep that at bay.
Graham has been working a little bit- he likes the responsibility and the independence I think. It’s different working for someone else at a place like that than mowing lawns or swim—he has the time too, so even though it’s not a lot of hours, it keeps him more busy. He’s still not totally comfortable doing the closing duties on his own or whatever with the register, but he’s more than competent and will figure it out.
Noah came home from CDA with a “man cold” and Emmas over it! I think he’s starting to feel better. Miller got a stomach bug Sunday night and was throwing up a lot. I took him yesterday so they could both sleep and he seems to be doing much better today- just a little diarrhea left to work through.
Louie and Copper J and Watson did well at miss Dianes- she didn’t put them out in the yard together but they were next to each other in crates so that’s fun.
I got my speaking assignment for Stake Conference—SPIRITAUL PATTERNS- so I’ve been pondering on that. Love to hear your thoughts on that on pday. It’s on Sept 13th at the leadership meeting (all ward and stake leaders a7:30am-9:30am) Also found out on Sat there is a stake service project at the4 Paramount West bldg. and I was invited (nooo I don’t want to do that) to a Sister leader luncheon with the visiting general authority and his wife (Elder Hillam from Rexburg) The luncheon is just for the Stake RS presidency, Stake YW Presidency and Stake Primary Presidency leaders (not their spouses) and the Hilliams – prepared and served by the stake presidency.) I appreciate the effort, but feels totally unnecessary for them to serve us when that sort of things feels squarely within what would be expected for a Stake RS to provide for the stake presidency and wives and visiting general authority. Oh well. I’ll report back on how our up close and personal goes with the Hillams 😊
9/7/26
Ave
Loved your journal entries—I love the glimpse it is into
what missionary life is – and for all the highs and especially the lows I am so
grateful to see your faith grow. These experiences
of faith filled prayers pleading to heaven for miracles is powerful stuff. The language capability and progression- even
in this last month have been significant!
It’s really amazing to read about it and I’m so glad I can because I
feel like pday is more about here—and maybe that’s a good break mentally for
you- but there’s so much that goes on in your day and your heart and your
companionship and branch that I am just grateful to be included in.
Could be a long 2 weeks with your comps goodbyes starting this
early. To her credit- she’s only seen
one missionary leave and sis Robinson had been there so long- so maybe she’s
modeling that in a bigger way that is needed- I think missionaries do get more attached
to members than vice versa- but I think it’s supposed to be like that. There will be a handful that you’ll keep
close to you even post mission- but the love that is shared while you are there
partnering in the gathering is beautiful and meaningful- even if temporary.
You said in there you weren’t feeling well and I hope that
was a fasting headache and you are #backandbetterthaneva- We are feeling good here- so grateful! It was nice to have a Monday holiday
to regroup and the weekend to chill; I saw some pics from the miller function
and I think it was okay that we weren’t there.
We watched the 3 hours of videos as a family Sunday and they were good-
neat to have- but it was a little long-
I guess it was a good thing to plan a family reunion around. Prob a lot
of expense for Nate and planning coordinating for Tee.
I need to really focus on my talk but I thought I’d try to
do that tomorrow when kids are back in school.
I have been pondering on it and loved the scripture you marked- and will
be prayerful it comes together by the spirit.
Seems like Miles is doing okay in school so far- likes his
classes and being with Cache—the fam reunion weekend was going on so I don’t
know if it feels totally settled socially- hopefully he’ll do something there
soon. (and hopefully it’s a good experience)
I can’t write long now but did want to respond. My heart is so
grateful for the families that take care of you and a branch that really
understands what member missionary work looks like.
I don’t know if you see RS worldwide on social media- but
the general RS President Camille Johnson posted this and I loved it—esp the
part about our calls (missionary, worker bee in a ward or stake calling)
are “process of polishing and refinement”
(a process where we offer our willingness and practice serving in the Savior’s way,
loving and living in His way- a process or pattern that draws us to him-- and
he does the rest. Maybe I can work that into my talk with regard to spiritual
patterns that prepare us and qualify us
Here are the words of her post:
"From an outsider's
perspective, I didn't have a resume that qualified me to serve as the Primary
General President. When I was called in April 2021, I had never been a Primary
president before.
And then the
following November, President Russell M. Nelson asked to meet with me and told
me that the Lord had a change in the assignment for me.
It was then that he
extended the call for me to serve as the Relief Society General President, and
I had never been a Relief Society president before.
Do you know what
those experiences did for me? They taught me the value of getting on my knees
and trusting in the Lord completely.
You know, the Lord doesn't call people because they have all the qualifications or because they already know how to do the job or the assignment. He calls us because it's a process of polishing and refinement. I know, sisters, that if you feel any inadequacy with respect to a calling or assignment, you can trust in Him. It's His desire to help you"
Love you so much- talk to you in 2 sleeps. Mama-
___________________________
____________________________
_________________________
Comments
Post a Comment