Mama JOURNAL RESPONSES 1/16-

 JOURNAL RESPONSES 1/16-

Journal responses for my Soeur 1/16-1/17 pages 1-6

Page 1.

I won’t respond to much there except to say that your flowers from dad are still going strong on the island in the kitchen and they make me happy and sad everytime I see them.  Dad is handling the dishes in your absence with his usual vigor and I guess I need to make some new job assignments around here—we’ve really just been surviving since Wed- and then we had a whirlwind of bball and then VIry came and the baby was here for us to watch on the weekend nights- Sunday (today) was busy- with church and then I had a meeting—President Tripple texted me asking about my thoughts and counselors and I just replied- that I needed to get through last Wed at the airport to have the head space and heart space to ponder that- and I have been- but I asked until next Sunday to get it sorted out.  I am not sure with Viry if I will have time to go to the temple which I’d love to just to ponder- but I think I can sneak away and sit in the car with my tools app and a prayerful heart and ponder some names…. I think the Lord can work with that ♥ I’d like to feel directed in it—I think that’s so important.

Page 2

We did it! That airport good bye was hard, but I like you felt an added strength in it—I watched you get thru security with a lot of composure and when you did your hurrah for Israel on the other side, I had peace in my heart—and I know it was emotional, but felt like the Lord gave you (and me) the extra we needed to be able to do such a hard thing!  Seeing that video from Aunt Jenny helped a lot- you had a spring in your step and I had peace knowing you’d gotten where you needed to be.  That was a gift to get that video!  I bet you felt pretty tired the first few days of the MTC just catching up on the rough night and super early Wed wake up—Dad and I have felt it too… but here we are Sunday night and another week starting and I’m not sure we’ve totally regrouped but here we go anyway!  I bet you are feeling that too.

 

Page 3

It’s cool they had an “early arrivals” devotional.  I am sure they have that whole intake operation down!  Just think, mid week you will no longer be the newest newbie missionaries at the MTC!

It’s sweet to read that you could see light in your comp right away, quirks and all.  That’s just a great quality to have (and you should tell her that at some point- how readily you  saw that in her).  We are all trying to gauge from pictures and reading between the lines on calls—but I know you’ll find the good and make the most of it.  All in all, it sounds manageable and  like you are a blessing to each other.  It’s prob good you can’t really hash it all out (except in your journal, but even that is risky if you ever leave your journal where it can be easily found) just because you are more readily able to focus on all the good- I’m glad you are (were) feeling like you can have meaningful discussions with your district—that’s so awesome and helpful, to just feel like everyone can just be their best and try their best.

I loved reading how you are drawing strength on your personal connection with the Savior.  That’s so beautiful and important—even if there are quiet tears—that’s okay- you know where to find your peace in it.

Page 4

I want to hug you too! I also know what you mean about not enough time in the day--  I feel like Graham always asks me after school what I did that day and I usually say- oh there’s just not enough time to get caught up—and it’s true and good—a blessing life is full and days are busy- but when I think about it—there’s always more good to have done, more time spent with God, more organization that would bring peace, more tasks to accomplish—I think I need to get better at prioritizing my lists- that would help me.  I will prob do better at that with V here just because I don’t have the liberty to dink around if I get productive windows. Ha.

1/17

Whoa. That’s an intense start to a Saturday and impressive—has anyone just had a  total I’m overwhelmed meltdown?  I think I prob would just reading about all that you did in the first half of your day. Tonight I actually kind of had one.  The kids were watching a “Sunday movie” with V, so I wanted to spend some time in the handbook just trying to understand my calling.  I know you won’t relate to this probably, but I am so not a digital phone person- I want a paper copy, a workbook of a handbook that I can doodle in (since my doodles are aways so awesome hahaha) no mostly so I can organize myself and take notes about points that are important for future trainings and for just as I am gathering myself—so dad wants to help me which is the sweetest, but he sits down with his ipad and clicks through the handbook which irritates me bc I can’t remember where we just were or make notes about how to find it= In this process I realize that I do everything important form my desktop computer—my phone is soo small and I don’t have an ipad to take on the go or use on the fly so I am really not good at much with out being in my office.  To this frustration dad says, well then buy an ipad if that’s what you need.  And is frustrated with me- I don’t need an ipad (maybe I do, but can’t handle that learning curve right now) I just need to go through it at my desk on my own, print off the pages I need to pour over and take notes on and familiarize myself so that feel like I have a little handle on this before anyone else (counselors etc) are on board and ready to launch.  So it ended that I came into my office and printed out about 23 pages of the handbook to study tomorrow—Dad was probably rolling his eyes at the amount of ink that was, but it’s okay that we lean and function differently.  I am just feeling my age a little in my inability to be super savvy and click around a digital handbook—if it was just for me to read it that’s one thing, but to feel like I can communicate about other people’s responsibilities, and train presidencies at the ward level, I need to really dive in and get super familiar with it and the hard copy just initially makes my heart feel better--  So that’s my current plan.  I am sure in the MTC, they know the best way to teach and prep you and you are so much more savvy with digital things- and you have been set apart (I am really wanting that to happen sooner than this feels like it will- I get set apart and it feels like that day I need to be ready to hit the ground running, but until then I am missing those qualifying blessings)  Anway- all that to say that you amaze me and I am so proud of how you begun—all in and mentally strong to get this ball rolling.

I am glad you had the comradery of a district that could (even if not in the moment) share that they are feeling lost at times too—I bet your mtc teachers know that – they just move forward and apply their faith that all the gaps will be filled on all the ends as you all keep persevering in the work of preparation. It’s good you could share these feelings in district council, that’s what’s its for – to lift and strengthen each other in the process.

It’s hard to be constructive with criticism.  Dad and I don’t do that well after 30 years of being married and usually one of us has to just soften and sometimes that comes easier than other times—but I think your input to your comp about keeping it shorter is good-  My guess is that is just how she handles her nerves-= some people overshare.  Some people pop their knuckles.  Some people say um a lot, or giggle, or space out—and you just started these interactions. I’m glad you could chat with Viry about her conversion- it’s impactful for her to ponder on those things and it was sweet for her to share it with you.

A good study spot where you can see outside and just breathe deeply is a good thing.  I’m glad you found a spot to do that.  It’s good you knew you still needed more strength and I am glad you could find a way to get the littlest bit of space in a bathroom stall to get it out and call down your own kind of miracle—miracles are all sizes and the ability to reset and talk about random things afterwards is a needed miracle in the moment. Knowing that you needed to do something together (when keeping any space might have been more appealing) was a miracle idea that you had- and an answer ot prayer.  I love that you recognized that too.  He’s in it all- the big things and the little details.

 

Okay- well that’s it for now—I’m caught up and my heart is full.  I know what to pray for! 

Tomorrow the kids don’t’ have school, but dad has work. Lainey is going for fillings in the morning and then I think we might go to Papa Kelsey’s (Graham’s choice) for Lunch with Viry-  In the evening there’s a big football game (I think college playoffs) and Sadie and Seth and Miller will come over I think.  Didn’t miller look so cute in his church vest?  Sadie said she ran into Drew Bingham at her ward when they went today (but act surprised when she tells you about it) I don’t think it was awkward though—That’s kind of fun to reconnect and there’s a lot to relate to—baby boys just days apart and in the starting out phase.  Anyway she’ll tell you all about it I’m sure.  Miles said his ward is doing that dating survey thing that Emma’s college ward did- you know where you put in a box names of someone you might be interested in going on a date with and then the bishopric finds the ones that matched and you go on a match date?  I remember Emma was totally opposed to the idea bc there wasn’t anyone in her ward she wanted to date—and I think as the girl it’s more awkward- but Miles told dad he was just going to text the bishop on the side and say, hey if there’s someone that wants to go on a date that doesn’t get a match, I’m happy to take her- so she doesn’t feel bad about it. Good kid, huh? She’d never know- anyway- I was glad he was open to the idea and thinking of others in it, even if it doesn’t create the ultimate love match! Haha.  I love him.  He seems to be in good spirits and has another big chem test this Tuesday so pray for him, I think when he gets down or stressed with school he gets down on himself and it snow balls. 

Oh I love you- Dad is ready for bed—and you are already asleep since it isi now 11:30a,-- so you’ll get this Monday and I just want you to know that I am absolutely confident in your ability to do this—I know the Lord will qualify you and consecrate each of your strivings. 

So so proud of our AVERYBIG GIRL.  Have a great day!  Xoxoxoxo—loved the cute pics too!! I’ll put them on the chat tomorrow!

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